Of Tears, Love and Rain
by wannabeme07
Summary: It's no secret that Syusuke loves the rain, but now he seemed to have loved it even more than before.


_**Everybody wants happiness  
nobody wants pain,  
but you can't have a rainbow  
without a little rain.**_

Syusuke watched as Tezuka played against Oishi for their practice match. It had always been such a fascinating scene for the tensai; how his face showed no emotion or any sign of exhaustion or even a small hint of interest except for the pair of eyes behind those frameless spectacles; those eyes that showed great passion and determination with every shot. Those eyes that would widen in disbelief an opponent of him would score a point but would quickly be replaced with a look of pride and satisfaction in seeing how much his team had progressed. Those eyes which, despite his captain's stoic appearance, have given him a hint of what the taller boy was feeling. It was those eyes that Syusuke fell for.

Yes, he, the prodigy, Syusuke Fuji, has finally admitted his weakness. He was in love with his team mate. He is in love with the person he considers as his mentor and greatest rival. He had harboured special feelings for his captain ever since they were in first year when he saw him stand up against their upperclassmen. He had always admired the other's principles and how seemingly perfect he was. But he knew that what he was feeling was not right. He knew that he should get rid of these thoughts and feelings but no matter how hard the smaller boy tried, it was no use. Instead he decided to hide his desire behind the mask of simple thoughtfulness and concern for their captain. He knew deep down that Tezuka's constant worrying for him was all due to the fact that he was the team's number two and he wasn't about to let anything happen to his second best player which may cause their team to lose their tournament matches. It was stupid to think that he would even make the taller boy fall for him as well. No. It was silly of him to think that. He can never love him back.

"Fuji, are you alright?" He was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice he knew full well. He looked up to see the subject of this thoughts standing right beside him, concern evident in his eyes. This was a common occurrence for them. The two were rarely seen without the other so it was no surprise that the captain would automatically stand next to the genius during idle times.

"Uh yeah. I'm fine." He smiled.

Tezuka didn't look convinced and continued to pry deeper into what was running through the shorter boy's mind. "You're distracted again Fuji." Syusuke looked up at his captain in surprise. He had always thought that we was able to hide his thoughts well, how was Tezuka able to see through his facade? "Whatever you are worried about, you can tell me. I would be happy to help. I don't need you to have any reason not to go all out during our next tournament." The captain spoke before walking off once again.

Syusuke kept his head down until he could sense that Tezuka was a good distance away from him before whispering to himself "I guess tennis is the only thing that you're worried about huh Tezuka. I guess I shouldn't even be surprised. There's no way you would feel the same about me, but I guess it's what I love about you."

 _ **The rain reminds me of you because it's falling hard and I am too.**_

Thunder rolled loudly across the courts as the rain fell heavily against the ground. Practice was called off early and everyone headed for the showers. Syusuke decided to stay behind to help the 7th graders put away the nets.

"Fuji-senpai, go back inside and let us take care for this. You'll get wet. We don't need our regulars sick when there are only two few weeks before our next tournament."

Fuji flashed his usual close-eyed smile at them "It's okay; a little rain never hurt anybody." He said before turning back and continuing his work. Rain continued to pelt down, soaking Syusuke but he didn't mind it at all. As he walked back to the locker rooms, he found Tezuka standing by the door with a towel in his hand.

"Fuji, hurry up and get changed. You might catch a cold if you stay in those wet things long" he said as he handed the towel to the smaller boy.

"Hai Tezuka." He said as he took the towel and proceeded to take a quick shower and change. When he was getting ready to leave, he was surprised to see Tezuka still standing by the clubroom, looking out at the courts in deep thoughts. Fuji approached him and coughed to catch his attention. "Why are you still here? I thought you had already left." He said mildly pleased.

Tezuka grunted as he acknowledged the other's presence. "I figured you didn't bring your umbrella today so I decided I'd just walk you home." He said without tearing his gaze away from the distance.

"You didn't have to wait for me you know. I could go home by myself." He said as they started walking.

"I don't want you to go walking under this rain. You might get sick." He said looking down at the other with concern evident in his hazel eyes. Syusuke, feeling his gaze, looks up to meet his eyes. "Our next tournament is coming up and I don't want anything to happen that can hinder you from playing in your top condition." He said, breaking away from Syusuke's gaze and looking ahead.

Syusuke smiled at his captain's concern "Don't worry Tezuka. I'm sure we'll win all our tournament matches no matter what happens." He said before looking down.

 _ **Rain falls because the clouds can no longer handle the weight. Tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain.**_

They continued walking in silence and it wasn't long before they were soon standing outside the younger boy's house.

"So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Syusuke smiled as the stood outside the gates. The older nodded in response. "Wait for me, let's walk to school together." The former looked up in surprise but didn't say anything. He stood by the gates of his house for a couple of minutes before asking his captain, "Aren't you going to leave? I'm sure you don't want to stand under this rain for a long time."

Tezuka grunted in response before looking down at the other. "I'll wait until you're inside."

"You don't have to wait for me to get inside. Just go. You might get wet out here." The genius argued.

"Well then you better get inside then. The way I see it, you're the one who is going to get wet if you continue to stand under the rain like that." Tezuka retorted, Syusuke just sighed in defeat.

"Alright, be careful on your way home okay. We don't need our captain sick days before our next tournament." He said as he turned around and entered his house. Once he saw that the younger was safely within the shelter of his house, he too proceeded to walk home.

That night, Syusuke sat down by the window of his room, staring intently at his cacti. He picked one up and held it at eyelevel. 'You know what's funny? I've been taking care of something that doesn't need me' loving something that can't love me back and talking to something that will not answer or talk back to me but for some reason, I just can't seem to stop. Kunimitsu Tezuka, I'm surprised that you can hurt me like this.' Tears began to fall down his eyes. 'Funny, it looks as if the sky is crying for me as well.'

True to his word, at exactly 6:50 in the morning the following day Tezuka was to be seen standing outside the Fuji's residence waiting for a certain blue-eyed boy to come out so that they can walk to school together.

"Good morning Fuji." He greeted the moment he caught sight of the said boy. "Let's go?"

"Good morning Tezuka!" The smaller boy greeted back. "Yes. I'm sorry, did you wait long?"

Tezuka only shook his head as the two walk wordlessly to school. Every now and then Syusuke would look up at the older only to find the said boy looking back at him.

"Tell me, is something bothering you Fuji?" Tezuka asked, looking intently at the other.

Syusuke looked down, avoiding his gaze. "Why do you ask?"

"You seemed awfully quiet today. Do you have a problem?" Tezuka said, looking away. Syusuke shook his head.

"I just have a lot of things in my mind, there's nothing to worry about." Syusuke answered, still not looking at Tezuka.

"I see." The other answered. "You know you can always come to me when you need help."

Syusuke looked up surprised, could it be that Tezuka looked at him more that a friend? He tried to spot a sign in the stoic captain's face that says so but he remained as emotionless as a rock as usual. Perhaps his concern was more of as a captain than anything else. That must be it; there was no way that Tezuka will ever look at him that way. He knew this from the very beginning, but that didn't stop his heart from breaking in two each time.

During lunch, Syusuke headed off towards their captain's classroom, he was hoping to ask the captain if he would have lunch with him but he was greeted by a girl standing by the said boy's classroom. Just when Syusuke was about to approach her to ask if Tezuka was there, the boy in question walked out and the girl's arm immediately wrapped itself around his. Syusuke looked at Tezuka for any sign of rejection but the latter didn't even bother looking back so instead, Syusuke went to the one place he found comfort, the music room.

No one outside his family knew that Syusuke can play the piano, not even his best friend Eiji. This has been something he was keen to keep a secret. This has been his sanctuary. Some people would think that he out of all people will head off to the courts and hit some balls when he needed to clear his head, but he felt that tennis was meant for something totally different. Tennis was something he would turn to if he wanted to experience thrill and adrenaline, playing the piano provided the exact opposite. Heaving a deep sigh, he closed his eyes and started playing.

 _I know everything there is to know  
But when it comes to love, I'm such a fool  
Even if I don't know anything else  
I really want to be good at love like everyone else  
But I can't – what do I do?  
Do I need to learn from you, who only received and just left me?  
Why did you teach me a love that's not really like love?_

 _Is there another fool like me too?  
Who gives all and smiles even when everything is lost?  
A fool, fool, is there a fool like me?_

This was him; the great Syusuke Fuji, he genius but a fool when it comes to love. He was a fool for loving someone who can't love him back. He was a fool for not being able to make Tezuka love him back. He was a fool for not being able to stay strong. He was a fool for not being able to get rid of his feelings for him. He was a fool for falling alone.

 _I know already  
I won't ever do this kind of love again  
But that's just what I say after hearing others say it  
Actually, I don't really know  
I'm sorry that I don't resemble you  
Even if everyone calls me a fool  
I don't want to love it it's not really like love  
Even if I'm scared of giving everything and being forgotten  
I'm more scared that my heart will learn your ways_

 _Is there another fool like me too?  
Who gives all and smiles even when everything is lost?  
A fool, fool, is there a fool like me?_

Tears began falling from his eyes, tears that were full of pain. Tears that he tried desperately to hold on to, tears that he refused anyone to see. It made him feel weak but he didn't care. Right now, he doesn't know what else to do. He truly was a fool; he was a fool for Tezuka.

 _I'm a fool  
I'm such a fool for love  
Someday, I'll meet a person who resembles me, who is like me  
I believe that I'll find that person_

 _There has to be a fool like me somewhere  
That person will also be waiting for me  
Fool, fool, like a fool_

 _I'm a fool, I know  
Sorry for being like this  
I'm a fool for love._

Maybe someday, he'll be able to finally move on. Maybe he just needs the right person to help him, and maybe, just maybe, he may be able to find happiness without Tezuka.

 _ **I love to walk in the rain because nobody knows that I am crying.**_

Syusuke skipped the afternoon practice without informing anyone of the members. Without anything in hand, he wandered around with no destination in mind. It was still raining heavily but he didn't care. He loved the rain. He loved walking under the rain. He watched as couples walked under their umbrella and it reminded him of how Tezuka would always make the effort of walking him home every time the rain would get too heavy, making sure that he was home safely before heading home himself. He loved those walks. It made him feel as if Tezuka actually loved him as much as he loved the captain. He passed by couples sitting inside the comforts of coffee shops, wishing that he was a girl instead. That way he would be able to freely date his captain without the questioning looks of others. He could feel his eyes sting from fresh tears but this time he no longer felt it staining his face, instead, he felt his tears mix with the drops of rain that would hit his face. That was another reason why Syusuke loved the rain. Rain hides his true feelings.

Syusuke arrived home late that night, soaking wet, freezing to the bone and completely devoid of tears. He headed wordlessly to his bedroom, ignoring the concerned looks of his sister and his brother and going straight to bed without even changing his wet clothes and not caring about getting his bed wet nor that he could catch a cold if he stay in his wet things long.

Sure enough, Syusuke woke up that day in a coughing fit. His head feels like someone is pounding on it with a hammer and his throat felt hoarse.

"Are you sure you can go to school today Syusuke? You know you can take a day off if you need to. I'm sure they'll understand when you can't attend practice today." His sister said concerned.

"I'm fine. I can manage. I'll see you later." He said as he headed out the door without any breakfast, turning a deaf ear to his sister's concern.

As to how he was able to get through morning practice and his classes was a huge question for Syusuke. He barely registered anything coach Ryuzaki or Inui was saying and was only half aware of what was happening around him. His headache was getting worse and he was starting to feel lightheaded. His coughing had subsided but his throat felt like it was on fire.

Syusuke took his time getting ready for the afternoon practice, being careful of not passing out which he was sure he was close to doing. Thankfully enough, Tezuka was in a good mood and didn't give them any extra laps. It was as if luck was on his side today as he and Taka were assigned to play doubles against Echizen and Momo which surely everyone knew, were the worse double's combination in their team, which made the match pretty easy. Thankfully Syusuke had managed to get through afternoon practice without anyone noticing that the tensai was sick. He didn't want to worry anyone and he especially did not want to appear anymore weak than he is after yesterday's breakdown. As he was changing however, he felt a wave of nausea wash over him and the last thing he heard was someone calling out his name before falling into darkness.

 _ **Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.**_

Syusuke woke up in the familiar comforts of his room, as to how he got there, he had no idea. He remembered passing out after afternoon practice and felt his stomach churn, he bolted out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom, emptying his stomach of whatever was. Sitting on the bathroom's cold floor, he only just realized how much worse he felt. Everything around him was spinning, his head felt like someone was trying to pry it open and his throat felt like it was filled with burning hot needles. He didn't even realize that someone was had entered the bathroom and carried him back to his room.

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well." He heard a familiar voice asked as he was laid back down his bed.

"Don't worry about me. I'll get better before our next tournament." He mumbled to the best of his throat's ability.

"You weren't at yesterday's practice either."

"I'm sorry, I had something to take care of. I'll run extra laps when I get back, I promise."

"What happened Fuji? You rarely get sick."

"I got wet by the rain yesterday and I fell asleep without changing, but like I said, I'll get better in time for the tournament." He replied before coughing hoarsely.

He expected Tezuka to reply with a grunt or his usual 'You let your guard down' or something along those lines. What he didn't expect was Tezuka to envelope him in a tight hug, burying his face against the sick boy's shoulder.

"I don't care about the tournament, just get better."

"Tezuka wha-" he was cut off by a pair of lips against his.

"Can't you see why I care for you so much? It's not because I want to win so badly, it's because I love you. I wouldn't care about winning if you'll get hurt in the process." He said, eyes gazing at the smaller. "I thought you'd have noticed it, how I have always treated you differently. When I was told that you were looking for me yesterday at lunch but you turned around the moment you saw me with one of my admirers, I had half a mind to leave her right then and there and run after you. When you weren't at practice, I asked Eiji where you were and he told me that you left the classroom the moment the bell rang. I asked Yumiko if you we're home but she said no and that she didn't know where you were either. I wanted to finish practice early so I could come and look for you but I knew I couldn't."

Syusuke was out of words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Tezuka, who he loved all this time, was actually admitting to him that he loved him too.

"When Yumiko called me to say that you had come home last night wet from the rain, looking tired and troubled I wanted to bolt out of my house, run to yours and hold you in my arms. The moment you walked in for morning practice, I knew something was not right. You weren't your usual self, I could tell. I have watched you long enough to know that. I still kept my distance from but my eyes never left you. My heart stopped when you collapsed in the clubroom, I didn't know what to do. I love you Syusuke. I always have."

"Kunimitsu." Syusuke whispered as he buried his head against Tezuka's chest. "I love you too."

That night Syusuke fell asleep in Tezuka's arms to the sound of the rain.


End file.
